SPAM

So you probably have found this page because you reached out to us with a business proposal & while right now we are not interested, we want to give you some general feedback. Find your category below & read on!

I am a Shopify Expert and can help CHALK REBELS optimize the store.

We know our shop is not perfect but we're pretty happy with it & because of the complexities of running both wholesale and D2C from a single store we like to keep full control of the experience. We have an IT background at CHALK REBELS, so right now we don't really need your help.

I am a private equity investor and am interested in giving you money.

We're not for sale. Equity-based investment is off the table at the moment. This is a company run by climbers for climbers and we feel bringing a third party in the cap table will erode our values. We're not interested.

I am a boutique investment bank or financial advisor and want to setup a meeting.

As a matter of principle we don't do business with financial partners who reach out to us first. You reaching out to us unsolicited makes you look desperate. We're not interested.

I am an online marketing agency and would like to work with you.

Not interested, we don't have the budgets you need to be effective so it will be a bad experience for both of us. If you are really interested in this space come with a commission-based proposal.

I am an individual investor / angel investor and am interested in giving you money.

Not interested, with one exception. If you're based in Belgium we can work together through the "Win-Win Loan" scheme. Lookup "WinWin Lening" for more information.

We produce P.O.S. displays & marketing materials.

We have everything we need in terms os P.O.S. materials right now. Not interested.

I am a publication or PR firm and would like to feature you.

While we are always happy to be featured we currently have only a limited budget available & prefer to spend this on climbing-specific media. If you represent mainstream media interested we are not interested in a paid collaboration.

We are an influencer agency and want to improve your ROAS.

Not Interested. We don't spend on influencers so there's no ROAS to optimize for you!

I am an online marketing expert and can help you grow.

At the moment we have no budget for growth marketing. We barely have an ad budget for you to work with. If you're deeply embedded in the climbing community you may be able to work on commission, but that's about it.

We're an SEM / SEO agency and can improve your rankings.

We have no budget for SEM / SEO and think the kind of optimizations typically needed for better ranking reduces the utility of our website for our customers and contributes to the overall enshittification of the web. So thanks, but no thanks.

I'm a UGC creator & can feature your product.

Unless you're a true climber we're not interested. We have plenty of climbers interested in featuring our products for free.

I am a social media influencer and would like to work with you.

If you call yourself an influencer we probably don't want to work with you. While we do have an ambassador program, that is reserved for people who are climbers & activists first.

I use shitty AI to write a semi-customised intro email with a couple of talking points that are supposedly about CHALK REBELS but in reality are just way off the mark!

Go & have a look at yourself in the mirror! F.U.

My proposal was not addressed on this page.

Congrats! You made it all the way to the bottom of this page. You can assume we're not interested.

Image Credit: Hannes Johnson via Unsplash